My 6 Most Offensive Blog Posts

On Thursday, I woke up to a blog comment informing me that I had achieved a first page ranking for the term “ugly fat bastard”

Now it turns out this was actually good news (created by an enthusiastic reader sharing one of last week’s posts about YouTube SEO with some interesting anchor text based upon some self-deprecating humor I utilized in the MP3 on that post), but it brought up a good point for me…

It’s not my goal to be offensive…

But I’ve learned over the years that if I’m not WILLING to offend anyone, it’s extremely difficult to write or record ANYTHING worth talking about.

Thus I’ve got many posts with unusual titles, and hard hitting (though compassionate) straight talk within them.  For example, you may have enjoyed (or been offended by) some of my more offensive posts:

• The Cockroach Conversion Secret
• Are You Willing to be Hated?
• Constipated Marketing Secrets
• I Am Ugly, So Very VERY Ugly
• It’s Better to Sweat in Training Than to Bleed in Battle
• The Strange Psychology of Money

Some people have even told me they were offended by posts I considered entirely innocuous, like “Marketing With Your Bald Spot“, “4 Things I No Longer Believe“, or “Human Nature and Your Marketing Mindset”

But here’s the point..

If I had NOT risked offending people… indeed if I had not deeply offended hundreds (if not thousands) of people, I would NOT be where I am today.

I wouldn’t have had the chance to deeply connect with the entrepreneurs who make my life as rich as it is.

I wouldn’t have gotten the feedback I needed to grow as a marketer (and as a person)…

I wouldn’t have been able to kick-start Rocket Clicks, build the hyper-responsive club, get my video seo agency going…

And instead of being a nerdy-geek-marketing-psychologist with thousands of customers and a brilliant audience for the hundreds of things he has to say each year–the good, the bad, AND the ugly…

I’d just be a nerdy geek.

Which is not to say that’s the end of the world (more power to geeks!)…

But how much richer is my life, for the simple willingness to risk offending you?

SO… Have I offended you yet?

Onwards and Upwards,

Dr. G

PS – This week, I decided to open up a few extra coaching slots now that I have completed the Total Conversion Code project.   I’ve got 2 slots left, and my slightly-less-ugly counterpart Ryan has 2 as well.  So please click here now to read about how you can  get coached by a real ugly bastard with a damn strong track record of success.

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Friday the 13th: A victory story, a horror story

I just gave away a sample issue of my Mastermind Club newsletter called “Signature Victories.” I asked y’all for victory stories. Two stood out….

Matt wrote in:

“I’d been working for the man for a number of years. The moment came for me to start buying and selling pre-foreclosure houses. In a few short weeks, I picked up three deals. Yes, all with no money down. But getting ‘em to the closing table and cashing a check was another story.

In just 7 short days I closed three deals. One, where I made $10,000, the second, I made $25,000 and the last one, where I made $35,000.

Each deal had it’s pitfalls and challenges. The first I had to work with the buyers who were having marital issues to get the closing done.

The second, was simple. Straight cash sale.

The last one, was touch and go for some time. I finally had to negotiate with the banks up until the last minute before the closing to get my deal done. If the bank doesn’t take my offer, I make nothing. If they do, I make $35,000.

They took the offer with just a few minutes to spare.

At the end, I learned to just be patient, persistent and to not let my emotions get in the way. This was a huge leap for me.

From that point on, I knew I could be successful in any business endeavor.

For many years, I’ve learned the lessons of that one week to remind me when the chips are down to just be patient, stick to it, and keep my emotions in check.

~~~

I also got this one, from James:

I get these emails from you all the time, and i keep saying that i’m gonna remove them from my email, since i dont have any money to try one of your gimmicks. Hell, its probably just another one of those scams. I dont even have the money if i wanted to take a chance and try. Whats the use, my wife is probably gonna die on me, and then all i will have left is all these creeps that dont care about me, or any one else except themselves.

I appreciate the offer of “possible victory”, however, my experience has been that LIFE SUCKS, PEOPLE LIE, YOU CANT TRUST ANYBODY, AND THERE ARE NO GOOD PEOPLE LEFT!! THINGS GET WORSE AND WORSE, YOU DIE POOR AND BROKE, WHILE THE RICH GUY, WHO CARES ONLY TO STEP ON THE POOR GUY, GETS RICHER.

~~~

I know Matt, and Matt’s been financially upside down in a bigger badder way than James. Life for Matt has not been all caramel lattes and frequent flier bonus points either.

Matt lives in a GRATITUDE story.

James lives in a DESPERATION story.

Which story do YOU want to live in? You choose. Every day.

www.perrymarshall.com/mastermind/

How to rivet your readers with “primal” ad copy

Today I’d like to share one of my fave copywriting secrets. This secret helps me connect with you and other readers on an emotional level. It keeps you hanging out in Planet Perry long after you’ve abandoned the other haunts.

The secret is this:

Don’t make people think. Except when you really want them to think.

In sales, making people think is generally a no-no. Stir peoples’ hearts ’til they open their wallets, right?

But I do make you think. The other day a customer said, “When you get an email from Perry, you know it’s going to take some work to follow where he’s going.” Heck, in Maui I spent the first hour talking about Fibonacci numbers.

If I didn’t make people think, I wouldn’t have so many members who earn high-six and low-seven figure incomes. Nobody ever said business is easy – not if they’re telling the truth.

But the reason I can get away with this is….

You never have to waste your brain power dissecting my sentences.

Almost everything I put out reads at the 5th to 8th grade level (age 10-13). The lead article in USA Today this morning reads at Grade 9.4. New York Times: Grade 9. Huffington Post, 9.8. This article you’re reading now, 4.5. An average 9 year old can read it just fine.

If you want to be welcome in peoples’ email boxes, you need to pay attention to this.

I made you a Free tool at

http://www.perrymarshall.com/grade

…and I use it all the time. You can paste your text into the box and see the grade level instantly.

When your copy reads at a 5th grade level, it’s primal. Gut level impact. It sails right into your reader’s brain and sticks. Your reader spends his brain cells digesting your ideas, not your sentences. One of the reason Gary Halbert’s copy was so seductive was, it seldom read above 6th grade and often 3rd or 4th.

Right now I’m writing a new book about very complex ideas in biology and it’s never above grade 8. Which means when the book comes out, people will understand what I’m saying.

You achieve this by….

• Never using a 4 syllable word when a 2 syllable word will do
• Using short simple sentences that get right to the point
• Making your paragraphs short and punchy

Keep your copy in the Grade 4-7 range, and even white papers and tutorials below 9. You’ll buzz past the competition and only you will know why. Since age = grade level + 5, you’re ensuring that any 14 year old can understand what you’ve written.

Now there’s one more secret that will help you write great copy. It’s the “You to Me ratio.”

In copy, you should always talk about your reader (“You” – “Your”) more than you talk about yourself (“I” – “me” – “my” – “we” ). 1.5:1 is good. More is even better.

It’s much easier to listen to somebody who’s talking about YOU than somebody who constantly talks about themselves. It’s more fun and it’s less work. Many times you can twist a sentence around and speak from the reader’s point of view. See? Just did it again.

The You:Me ratio of this message is 1.8:1. Which is one reason why you’re still reading now.

Enjoy this tool, and do your friends a favor – tell others about it too:

http://www.perrymarshall.com/grade/

Perry Marshall

P.S.: You can use this tool for email subject lines, tweets and Facebook posts too. I recommend Grade 4. Today’s subject line, “How to rivet your readers with ‘primal’ ad copy” is Grade 3.7.

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